My Camino (I)

10/10/2012 7:58

by Birthe Paulsen

I am a swedish pilgrim, a bag-lady trotting along on my walk-about through life. Having reached the age of 60 (surprisingly!), I feel that anything after this must be mere bonus….My father and his mother both died at the age of 58, so I really expected the same fate. But it seems as if I’m given some more time before I leave.

The Camino has been waiting for me for many years. I knew it was there-through my very dear friend since 1973-Cristobal Ramirez. We met eachother in Sweden when we were young and open-minded, and somehow we have kept contact since then (mostly thanks to him!). Already in 1975 he gave me a book about the Camino.  I visited him in 1991 and in 2003, and he has been several times in my home and also in Denmark and Norway. I’m living and working as a nurse in Norway since 1984. I love the sea, the mountains and the woods in this country, where my mother was born.

Being in my middle-age I wanted to focuse on my psychical and fysical health and bring  my body and soul closer to mercy and compassion in life. I have worked many years with sickness, death and misery- I have seen much destruction. I lost contact with my friend Agge, who also knew Cristobal,and she died suddenly in 2006. This spring I decided to use 3-4 weeks of my vacation to walk the Camino. I was very aware of the need of religious or other spiritual reasons for doing it. I am an agnostic, and I have great respect for religions and their impact on people’s life through the history. I see the need of love and understanding  between the different religions today, reminding us of the importance of being brothers and sisters first of all. I myself am over midway of my lifetime, and I carry my ups and downs with me in my bag-pack as I’m walking.

I brought with me clothes and things that family and friends have given to me, and so I felt they were with me. After landing in London and Madrid and endless security controls my eyes finally zoomed in and landed in Santiago de Compostela. Cristobal suggested to start from Cebreiro, on my birthday, the 5 of september. What a beautiful old roman village! At dinner I was invited to sit at a table with 3 pilgrims – and my camino started! I slept in the world’s oldest hostal by the church- and I felt very old and lonely when I woke up 07.00 to darkness and cold winds….I wondered  why and what I was doing there. Well, I soon saw the pilgrims packing their things, eating and strolling along with their sticks…..and so did I. The day-light came and served me the path, and guided me with the stones and the arrows. I could feel the thrill, the excitement and the joy in my body. The landscape floated around me like milk and honey and the air was fresh . Silence and birds, cats, sheep, donkeys and horses. Old stonewalls followed me like faithful dogs, blackberries asked me to taste them,  delicate fountains offered me water, corn fields stretched proudly into the sky and the stone houses observed me from their ancient peace. Old smiling men and women, and their dogs, let me walk through their farms and told me «Buen Camino!» I met and walked together with all kinds of people of all nationalities. We rested and had a meal, we talked and told eachother things, we helped eachother and we split when time needed it….and suddenly we met again! We took care of our body and soul in the evening, washed our feet and thanked them for the good work….changed shoes and went to the mass in the local church. We felt welcomed, taken care of, embrassed by the villages we passed through and their inhabitants. We walked in the footprints of the history of pilgrimage-inside our heads a film went on, showing pilgrims of all times on their way to Santiago de Compostela. We could see their traces on the face of the ground we tread. The woods, the fields, the mountains and the rivers all cared for us and gave us comfort. In the evening we all went to sleep like confident children. I think something happened to all of us, outside and inside of us too.

Time in its usual daily meaning disappeared- so did duties and obligations, worries and doubts. My body and my soul remained-and the walking, the way, the Camino. It really occupied my whole conciousness-it grasped me totally. And it talked to me, taught me about myself and my abilities, my strength and my weakness. Finally it gave me mercy, hope, compassion and trust…..

There were shining moments and memories of people and places. Like the priest in a small chapel where we could get our stamp. He had a written massage in many languages: «If you want to visit the mass, just tell the priest» I suddenly discovered that the swedish translation said:» If you want to visit the mass, just hit the priest» !!! A serious misunderstanding! I told the priest, and we giggled and laughed about it.

 

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